This is the worst trip...I've ever been on

5 Worst Things That Could Happen While Trippin'
by Rick Welsch

This is pretty straight forward guys. Here is the list.

5) A raccoon could find it way from the dumpster to the apartment for warmth, get into the apartment, and we would be fucked up watching out for this possibly rabid raccoon that could appear at any second.
4) The cable could go dead except for CMT, and all we could watch was old Garth Brooks concerts and My Big Redneck Wedding.
3) Revolution 9 could come on the iPod. Believe me that would not be good at all.
2) We all would just freak out and kill each other.
1) We all would just freak out and kill each other in a gay orgy. Our roommate would come back to a pile of naked, bloody, dead, homosexuality. That is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen.

And this kind of writing will get me a Peabody I'm sure.