Come on and Safari with Me

Today's Random Thought
by Conor Levis

I want to go surfing this Summer. I'm not sure why but I've always wanted to try it. It looks so fun and it's just my kind of scene. I love the ocean, I love action, I have good balance, I know I can do it. Then again, I said the same thing when I tried to snowboard for the first time last year and it turned out to be one of the more traumatizing experiences of my life. I couldn't keep my balance for the life of me, I was scared shitless when I gained any kind of speed, and I had no idea how to stop or change directions. It took me about a half an hour to get down the mountain and when I finally reached the last hill by the resort area, I slid all the way down on my back and landed at the feet of complete strangers. It was probably the most embarrassing experience of my life. You're probably thinking surfing isn't a good idea for me but I gotta try it atleast once. It's just one of those things. I won't let my past experiences with a similar activity stop me. You know what they say... if you fall off your horse, get right back on again (unless you're Christopher Reeve. Too soon? Even I thought that was in bad taste.)

Reasons to Love Beach
by Conor Levis

Because of the 90 degree weather yesterday, I went to the beach for the first time in at least a year and half. The beach is my favorite place in the world but I haven't been able to go in recent years for a number of reasons, primarily school and work. Some of the most important events of my life I want to take place on the beach. My ideal date is at the beach. I want to get married...on the beach. When I die, I wish that the beach be incorporated in some way. So it was great to be back out there on the sand, staring out at the ocean with my best gal. Here's why I love the beach:

1. There's nothing better than relaxing on the sand and taking in some sun. Not only is it one of the few chances a guy gets to work on his tan without seeming incredibly gay, but for me it's the ultimate form of relaxation. It doesn't even matter if it's crowded, I always feel at peace when I'm laying on the sand (As gay as THAT just sounded).

2. The activities. If you go to a beach like Hampton, you've got the boardwalk with all sorts of fun things to do. From arcades to tattoo and caricatures, there's never a dull moment at a place like Hampton. And now that I'm older and wiser and 21, I can hit up the bars and legally drink. Life is good. If a beach doesn't have a boardwalk, you can still find things to do whether it be swimming, going for a walk, or depending on how old you are...go crab hunting (so what if I still do it).

3. The food. Food always seems so much better at the beach. Beach pizza is always a lot better than normal pizza and it's pretty much the only place to get fried dough these days. I don't know how they make beach pizza but whatever they do, keep it up! There's also a plethora of good restaurants, especially if you like seafood like I do.

4. The females. For a young, single, sometimes handsome guy like myself, the beach is like a gold mine. To quote a friend of mine, "It's like fishing with dynamite." What could be better than hundreds of good looking girls in their bathing suits? Nothing I tell you. Nothing.

5. You know that game you play where you just zone in on a stranger and watch their every move for an extended period of time and it always ends up being really funny? Oh...you don't? Well I play that game sometimes cause I'm weird but the beach is the absolute best place for it. Watching people on the boardwalk is probably a solid 7 on the unintentional comedy scale. On the actual beach...not so much because people are usually laying out. You have to be careful when you play this game though because you might accidently spot someone you know, and that would be bad. There's nothing worse than running into someone you know in a public place because then you are obliged to start a "stop and chat" which is one of my least favorite things in the world. They always turn out really awkward and make me very uncomfortable. Remember to look away if you accidently spot someone you know and pretend you never saw them in the first place. Unless you lock eyes. Then you're fucked.

Nothings better

My first beach experience of 2009 was a great one and I'm hoping to make more visits this summer than I have in years past. As long as my schedule allows me to (F-U establishment).