Nicknames

Nicknames
By Rick

I am all for nicknames in professional basketball. I love calling Pierce "The Truth" and Glen Davis "Big Baby". I hate Donny Marshall calling Tony Allen "T.A." tho. It's a stupid nickname. Shaq gave Paul his nickname, Glen Davis got his in college, Tony Allen got his from a washed up ex-player who just said his initials. Here are some good nicknames for a player I absolutely hate. Two of these are nicknames I've overheard at games and other places, unfortunately I didn't make them up. They are so great tho. The last I'm not sure whether I overheard it or made it up myself. I hate the guy so who knows.

Brian Scalabrine


1) Scallion Pancakes
2) Scallywag
3)Rapscallion

P.S. I love how the second Google picture that comes up is him pointing. What a classic Scal move.

Hot Bitch of The Day
Anastasia Myskina

With the Austrailian Open in full swing, I tried to find a current player who is hot. To bad I stumbled upon this Russian princess . Anastasia Myskina won like a French Open in 2004, but who cares shes a hot tennis player. Anastasia, you are the Hot Bitch of the Day!

The Great Adventures of Slick Rick
By MC Ricky D

I woke up around one o'clock in the morning. I gave myself a stretch up, a morning yawn and I went to the laundry room to clean my clothes up. I watched Jackass 2.5 on Netflix (Netflix is so choice, I highly recommend it) and then went to my final first class. The class is three hours, and only meets once a week. The text book is free online so I decided that outweighed the terribly long class. The teacher made us go around the room and say our name, major, where we are from, and what marketing expeirence we have that would make us a good group member. This is when some funny stuff went down. I'm fairly sure one of the girls' last name was Butts, which is funny to me. Also I sat next to a kid who's name was Mitul, and when it was his turn to talk about himself he said "I'm Mitul..." but it sounded exactly like "Ima tool". I dont think anyone else heard it like me but who cares. I think I fucked up my chances at being in a group tho. I wanted people to think I had expierence so I said how I had an internship with a radio for a month until I stopped going. I wish my internal filter said, "No Rick. Stop this sentance before the stopped going part. Thats not a desirable trait in a groupmember" instead of just thinking about The Perfect Storm, which I've now decided I think about way to much. I would guess I spend about 7 hours a week thinking about that movie, and I havent watched it in years. That was my class tho. Also I bought a new iPod shuffle. Its so small and cute. I love it. I named her Tracy. Friday night I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall with my friends before heading out to a party. At the party I got pretty fryed, and was made fun of for wearing a Peacoat. Let me just say this, peacoats are not gay. I may look mexican, so I can appreciate those comments because they are rooted in truth, but peacoats being gay... blashpomey. As you can now tell I live a pretty uneventful life and the adventure comment was completely in gest.

Album of The Week

Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever AgoI love this album. This and the new Animal Collective album have been all I've been listening to since I got the new harddrive. Its very mellow acoustic type music. This guy is a great singer, even tho he didnt make our list. Here are some live performances of tracks from the album: Flume, Lump Sum, and my favorite, stright from the album, Skinny Love.

Hot Bitch of the Day
Kristen Bell

Kristen Bell starred in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. She also is dating Dax Sheppard, who looks like a complete tool. Neither of these matter, because she's a hot bitch! Kristen Bell, you are the Hot Bitch of the Day.

The Greatest Cover?

My Favorite Live Cover Performance
by Conor



Hey all, I didn't have time nor am I coherent enough to write anything so I thought I would give you what I think is the greatest live cover song ever, "Like A Rolling Stone" by Jimi Hendrix (Originally by Bob Dylan) performed at the Monterey Pop Festival in 1967 during the Summer of Love. This video shows how brilliant and unbelievable it is what Hendrix can do with another song, further proving why he is hands down the greatest guitarist of all-time. This cover is fucking beautiful, I hope you enjoy it. Groovy!

Where in the world has Conor been?

....good question

2009, A year of change...for the worse
by Conor

I did not vote for Barack Obama. Not for any reason other than I didn't like him as a candidate. That and I am very conservative with my political views. With this being said, I do, however, understand the significance and importance of this day. We all hope as Americans that this man can deliver the change he speaks of. I could certainly use some change after the way the New Year has started. Let's just say 2009 hasn't treated me well thus far. Many people are asking me why I haven't contributed anything to the blog lately (except for the weekly picks). Well, here's why.

It all started on the very first day after the turning of the New Year. I was driving all of my friends back from our New Year's party when I was stopped by the cops and given a $100 ticket for my recently expired inspection sticker. Since then I've had an incredible string of back luck. I can't tell you everything, but the biggest reason for my absence occurred the following weekend when I went to visit the same group of friends and got into a fight with one of them. It was nothing more than an intense shoving match that ended with both of us on the ground...only I landed on top of a mountain bike with the handlebars jammed into my side. I was fine for about 5 minutes when suddenly I started having trouble breathing. Rick told me I was turning a different color so I decided I should probably get to the hospital. We made it to the hospital, which was approximately 15 minutes away, in ohhh, about...7 seconds flat. I was treated and released two hours later, so I drove back home. It wasn't until the next morning that they found troubling evidence on the X-ray. I received a call from the hospital on my way into work and was told to get to the nearest emergency room immediately. After some new X-rays at the next hospital, it was found that I had punctured a lung, which was 60% collapsed. They did an emergency procedure in which they cut a hole in my side, jammed the tube into my lung, drained it, and let the lung build itself back up. They released me that night but I had to keep the tube in my side for 2 and a half days. Never in my life was I in as much pain. But thanks to a week of recovering and some good drugs, I'm happy to say that the tube is out and the lung is good as new! So that's what I was doing the second week of the New Year.

Today was my breaking point though. First, I only received about 4 hours of sleep the night before thanks to an undesirable sleeping position. Then, I decided to get my haircut after much debate and now deeply regret it. Then, I was running late for my first class of the semester when I was rear ended by some old lady which in turn made me another 20 minutes late. All of these events led up to the moment I walked through the door of a classroom full of people that I don't know, thirty minutes late, winded and cranky with my stupid looking haircut as I received death stares from each and every person including the professor. This is also the moment it dawned on me that I am currently in the worst funk of my life. Still need to know why I haven't been posting on the blog?

I don't mean to be a huge downer, but I need a place to vent. All I know is I'm back and I'll pump out more material than Courtney Love at a Methadone clinic. Besides, not everything has been completely terrible in 2009. I did meet a great girl on New Year's Eve and we've been seeing each other for three weeks now. I care about her and things are going really well...at least that I know of. Perhaps everything else will start shaping up. Maybe change is coming my way. Maybe my luck will turn for the better. Maybe today was symbolic in more ways than we think. In the words of our new president, "Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and begin the work of remaking America". Maybe there is always hope for a better tomorrow.



Hot Bitch of the Day:

Blake Hazard

Rick and I saw Blake bang that xylophone while performing on Craig Ferguson's show tonight and knew right away she was destined for the blog. Here's what I didn't know. She is a founding member of the band, the Submarines. She is a New England gal hailing from Northern Vermont. She is a self-taught guitar player. She has a blog AND she is F. Scott Fitzgerald's great granddaughter! All of this makes her a mortal lock. Blake Hazard, your name is hot, you're hot, and you are the Hot Bitch of the Day!

Kurt Warner is a Tool

Enemy of the State
By Rick

CMHB is a young blog, but it is time tho for this youngster to take its first step into becoming a man, our own personal bar mitzvah really. Today CMHB announces its first enemy, Kurt Warner.
Kurt Warner is a tool. The guy hangs around the NFL like he was Milton from Office Space, pretending to work and collecting a check since '04. Now the Arizona Cardinals are in the Superbowl, and the Warner dick riding has once again begun. The media is saying he's "risen like a phoenix", or that this season "guarantees him a Hall of Fame spot". Neither of these things are true. Kurt deserves no spot, and if by risen like a phoenix you mean has gotten a woody looking at pictures of himself outside the Cardinal's stadium, then yes he has, but he has not risen out of any ashes. He lies in those ashes, throwing bombs to Larry Fitzgerald. If he didn't have Fitzgerald or Boldin Kurt would be buying a motorcycle, or showing up to the local high school's football field during practice, just regular midlife crisis things. The fact that he's playing in a Superbowl again makes me sick.

List of people I'd hate myself less rooting for
-Mikhail Gorbachev
-Reggie Miller
-Patrick Dempsy and...
-Owen Wilson

Ok, so what does this all mean. The blog is asking all its readers to, if you see Kurt Warner, make a snide remark and tell him he is awful at football. Something to this effect, "Hey Kurt, I bet all through high school you couldn't type a paper without misusing than and then... and you're awful at football."

Hot Bitch of the Day
Salma Hayek

This Latina princess is the voluptuous new guest star on 30 Rock. Apparently she will be on the show for another 3-4 episodes, and while a lot of people don't like her character, I can think of two good reasons why I wouldn't mind her being around for a bit longer. This Bandida is The Hot Bitch of the Day!

NFL Weekly Picks Playoffs Round 3

Weekly NFL Picks: Championship Edition


Philadelphia -4 @ Arizona

Rick: Philadelphia
Conor: Arizona

Arizona's offense in the postseason has been unstoppable to this point. I like the home field advantage and I like a banged up Brian Westbrook. The Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl? Really!?!? You better believe it. - Conor


Baltimore @ Pittsburgh -6

Rick: Baltimore
Conor: Baltimore

I've rode them this far so I can't give up on my Super Bowl pick now. The defense is playing well and I think if the conditions are bad, advantage Ravens. Plus, they already played 2 close, hard fought games with the Steelers this season, I think the third times a charm. - Conor

Heroes State of Mind

I'm No Superman
by Rick
Scrubs is back and its not that bad. I've liked the new season on the whole so far, but unfortunately I am in a Heroes state of mind. Watching the third season and seeing all the different powers, I started to think how I would use them differently.

-Super speed I could use my super speed to open up a pizza parlor, and then deliver my pizzas by hand quicker than any other local pizza competitor.
-Flying If I could fly I would be in the NBA. I would use my power to its minimum and make it look like I was a better leaper than I really am. This would lead to thousands of physics defying dunks that would appear on Sports Center, and I would more than likely be a legendary shot blocker.
-Super Strength Obviously I would bench press a truck, maybe even a bulldozer.
-Copy Cat powers One of them in the show can copy any action they see and then do it themselves, I would use this as a bar trick. I would try to pick up chicks by doing the Crazy Legs Levi commercial. I think girls dig that. If your a girl who is a frequent on the bar scene let me know if you would dig that.
-Talking to Machines I have a great joke that would parody the lyrics to the classic song "If I Could Talk to the Animals", but in all honesty I would just probably tell my iPod to work again. The thing crapped out on me and my life is just not as musical anymore.
-Midas Touch This one is easy. Obviously I would... stop whacking it.

Hot Bitch of the Day
Natalie Dylan

Who is Natalie Dylan? She's a hot bitch who's virginity is for sale. Yes, I am as shocked as you all are, because A) this girl does not look like a virgin, and B) its already gotten to bids of $3.7 mil. Apparently this money is going to paying for her Masters degree. Story here and myspace with email address to bid, if you have an extra $4 mill lying around.

My Week

What I've Been Doing
By Rick
For the past 2 days I've done nothing but watch this NBC show Heroes. I originally thought it to be a hipster show and didn't give it a chance, but i was wrong. Its got all sorts of different plots that somehow all come together to form a larger, all encompassing plot. None of it makes much sense, and the time travel really throws a big ball of confusion to what is happening now and what is in the past. I've bought enough frozen burritos and Hot Pockets to keep me fed for a week to try and figure out these mysteries that surround all of these characters. Its also very nice to get another Celtic win, even tho it was not the decisive ass whooping we all were hoping for. I do have to say tho that Gabe Pruitt is a better replacement PG than Eddie, and I'd like to see more of Gabe at the 1 and Eddie at the 2. I've also been loving this song by Peter Bjorn and John called Lay it Down. Its funky and gives me a good feeling about their next album.

Hot Bitch of the Day:
Rosario Dawson

Rosario Dawson is having a big week, she has a movie in the theaters, and is hosting SNL this week. She's very busy, yet she still has time to be a hot bitch. Rosario Dawson, you are the Hot Bitch of the Day.

NFL Playoff Picks

NFL Weekly Picks: Playoffs Round 2

Last Week:
Rick: 1-3
Conor: 2-2

Playoffs:
Rick: 1-3
Conor: 2-2

All-Time:
Rick: 26-26
Conor: 31-21

Interesting first week of the NFL postseason. My Super Bowl pick (The Baltimore Ravens) are alive and well. Here's a quick rundown of this week's games as well as Rick and I's picks based on the line as always!


Baltimore @ Tennessee -3
Rick: Baltimore
Conor: Baltimore

Arizona @ Carolina -10
Rick: Carolina
Conor: Carolina

Philadelphia @ NY Giants -5
Rick: Philly
Conor: NY Giants

San Diego @ Pittsburgh -6
Rick: Pittsburgh
Conor: Pittsburgh

Phish 09 Tour

Pack the Pipe and Pile in the Van
By Rick

We all knew Phish was getting together for a three show reunion down in Virginia, but more great news has followed. Phish is now embarking on a summer tour, with a June 6th date at the Comcast Center here in Mansfield MA. I hate the Comcast Center, its a terrible venue, but this is Phish, the Greatful Dead of our time. I'd be a fool to miss this show, and I will do everything within my power to attend. If you don't know who Phish are, get educated. They do it all, rap, Queen covers, Mike D impressions, and even orginals.

In other stoner news Pineapple Express is now on DVD.

Hot Bitch of the Day:

Marisa Miller

A classic hottie, Marisa Miller is smoking. It was a matter of time until she popped up as our Hot Bitch of the Day.

The Real Shady

Shady Record
by Rick

I'm sick of the Celtics. I love them, they are my favorite sports team, but seriously, I'm sick of losing. I know its a team and that not one person is to blame for the losing streak, but Doc makes some shady decisions. The biggest shady decision is still giving Scal time. By now it should be blatantly obvious that he can't play, and he is a cancer to the team. Put out Patrick and let him at least play defense and grab some offensive boards. Another shady decision is letting Rondo control the ball for the last shot at the end of every quarter. He has proven all year he can't handle the pressure of making a good decision with the clock winding down, why not let Paul, Ray or even KG take the last shot. I know its easy to bitch now that we're fucking up, but honestly these are two issues that needed to be resolved before the losing streak even occured.

P.S. if you dont believe the Rondo thing, watch a game and watch who has the ball with 10-20 seconds left. The amount of times he has it just shows its drawn up that way and isnt random chance.

Hot Bitch of the Day
Odette YustmanOdette will be starring in The Unborn tomorrow, which looks alright but i probably won't go see it. I don't really like the scary movies, call me old fasioned, but I just saw Marley & Me and am waiting to go see Paul Blart: Mall Cop next. Kevin James is halarios.

A Response to a Friend

Why I'm Right
by Rick

A friend in a wheelchair, who will remain nameless, had a few problems with yesterday's post. His first major problem was with the hot bitch of the day, who he claimed is an ugly version of Kari Byron. He is dead wrong. Kari is hotter, but Stephanie is not bad herself. He is mental. He also said I used too many innuendos, which could be true...but I don't care. Second, he was mad cause I said Jay-Z fell off. Truth is, he did fall off. Here is evidence. Jockin. He said that you cant judge a man by his last few albums, but the truth is when a legend falls off its time to stop dick riding. You cant keep believing the new shit they put out is good just because they put out Reasonable Doubt. And that's the triple truth Ruth.


Marbury in Green? Sign me up
by Conor

What is wrong with the Boston Celtics? After starting the season with the best record in NBA history through 30 games, the World Champs have faltered as of late. Since the Christmas Day loss against the Lakers, the Celtics team that once looked primed to make a run at the 95-96 Bulls has lost 4 of their last 6 games. One could argue that every great team hits a bad stretch during the course of a season...but 4 of 6 to the likes of the Bobcats, the Knicks, the Warriors without Corey Maggette and Jamal Crawford, and the Trail Blazers without Brandon Roy? The scary thing is that when I've watched them since the Christmas Day game, I no longer see the dominant team that played with swagger. Instead, I see a vulnerable team with an obvious hole that had gone unseen. So what's really wrong with the Celtics?

It's really been a combination of turnovers, defense or lack thereof, and the recent struggles of Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo that has plagued the team lately. But the obvious problem, and the ongoing problem for the Celtics all season long, has been the lack of bench play this season. Since the departure of James Posey in the offseason, the Celtics haven't received reliable or consistent help from their reserves. This was evident early on in the year when large Boston leads were turned into respectable scores and the bench failed to uphold what the starters left them with. In the last 5 losses, the Celtics bench often struggled to score (13 points against LA, 9 against Portland) and failed to hold teams on the defensive end. The second unit is clearly out manned and let's face it, when your best playmaker is Tony Allen, you have problems.

Solution? Enter Stephon Marbury. Sure, maybe Marbury doesn't have a great track record. Maybe every team Marbury has played for won 50 games after he left. Maybe Marbury did come to blows with his coach and then threatened to blackmail him after he benched him (Yes, I had to bite my tounge as I wrote that). But after reports at the end of last week that the Celtics may be interested in his services, it got me thinking of the pros of a Stephon Marbury era in Boston. For starters, the guy can flat out score. Marbury has always been one of the great offensive PGs in the league. You're telling me the Celtics couldn't use that kind of offensive talent off the bench? Second, he receieved a full endorsement from Kevin Garnett, arguably the team leader. Adding another veteran to the team can never hurt and if anybody can keep Steph in check, it's KG. And lastly, imagine the unintentional comedy us Celtics fans would have with a guy nicknamed Starbury, or with the slight....scratch that, huge chance Marbury does get himself into some situation (barring it doesn't effect the team). We would have an infinite supply of Marbury-Sebastian Telfair jokes to make for the rest of our lives. I've been waiting for a player like this since Ricky Davis left town.

In all seriousness though, when you weigh out the pros and cons of the potential Stephon Marbury era, you realize that there is a greater reward than risk here. If Marbury comes in and does become a distraction there is no reason the Celtics wouldn't just cut ties with him right away. But if he doesn't, we're talking about a major boost for the World Champions and the second unit playmaker they need so badly. Now all we need is for the Knicks to do their part.

"Marbury in green may not be as crazy as it sounds."

Hot Bitch of the Day:

Patricia Arquette

Patricia Arquette, aside from being hot and a member of Hollywood's Arquette family, has recently filed for divorce from her husband, Thomas Jane. Apparently Thomas wasn't getting the job done. It's ok Patricia, you're still a hot bitch to us. Patricia Arquette, the Hot Bitch of the Day!


Album of the Week:

Fan-Tas-Tic (Vol. 1) by Slum Village

Recorded in 1997, Fan-Tas-Tic Vol 1. features some of the greatest work ever done by producer J Dilla, including maybe his magnus opus with The Look of Love. Most of the tracks were recorded with single takes in J-Dilla's home studio, some even freestyled. It remains, however, one of the most celebrated Hip-Hop albums of the underground. Favorite Tracks: The Look of Love, I Don't Know, Fat Cat Song

Tricked Out Name Tag

A Few Things of Note
by Rick

First, I'm very happy King of the Hill is now on [adultswim]. Its a pretty funny show and i'm glad i have the opportunity to watch it at 2 a.m. now. Second, Fuck the Cardinals. I love Matt Ryan and i'm pissed that next year I wont have the opportunity to watch the dirty birds every week on Fox. Third, check out this new mash up between Jay-Z and Radiohead, cleverly titled... "Jaydiohead". I hope you picked up on the sarcasm. But in all honesty its really not terrible and gives me an excuse to listen to Jigga again, because honestly, these days i'm running out of them.
http://jaydiohead.com/
Best track is the Karma Police/No Hook mash up. Give it a listen right there or download it and play it at your next party lol


Hot Bitch of The Day:

Stephanie Courtney

Stephanie has been everywhere and you dont know it. Shes been on TV's Mad Men, and Tom Goes To Mayor. Shes been on the silver screen in movies like The Brothers Solomon and The Heartbreak Kid. You probably know her tho from the Progressive.com commercials as Flo. Shes the one who spent her money on the big tricked out name tag. I'd let her insure me, especially if i wasn't "fully covered". She couldn't keep my "premium" down if she tried. Ok... I'm done.

Guess Who's Back?

by Conor

After a temporary lapse in posting, the blog makes an incredible return this week! Like my friend, Rick, said in the last post, we apologize for the slow and lack of posting. We are not perfect people by any stretch of the imagination. It was Christmas time and believe it or not...we do have lives outside of the blog. But like somebody once said (I think it was John Stamos), "The show must go on". So now we give you an action packed Holiday blog. Enjoy.


Because it is no longer 2008, we figure we will give you a Hottest Bitch of the Year! That's right, we consulted with our committee of two (Rick and I), took every Hot Bitch of the Day this year and decided on one winner. And to our surprise it was a unanimous decision. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Hot Bitch of the Year IS.........

Hot Bitch of the Year:

Shandi Finnessey

Once again, it's everybody's favorite hot game show host (sort of). I don't really know what else to say, just look at her! The decision was pretty easy. Shandi, you are the Hot Bitch of the Year! One more thing to add to the resume. Also to show gratitude to our loyal readers, here is a video of our runner up, Keeley Hazell, topless!


NFL Weekly Picks: Playoffs Round 1

After lighting myself on fire and bashing my head against the wall several times, I think I've finally come to terms with the Patriots (11-5) missing out on the postseason. I mean worse things have happened...like a potential career ending injury to Tom Brady in the first game of the season. Or like the Chargers team that happened and somehow got into the playoffs over the Pats. Or that I'm currently drenching myself with gasoline as I wrote that last sentence. Let's just get to the lines.


Atlanta -1 @ Arizona

Rick: Atlanta
Conor: Atlanta

I just think Arizona stinks, that's all. But since I have your attention, why is Edgerrin James complaining about his workload? The guy averaged 3.7 yards per carry on the season and only went over 20 yards on a play once! Just because he had one good game in Week 17, it doesn't hide the fact he's no longer a big play threat or an every down back (Not to mention his attempt to sabotage my fantasy team). People hated LenDale White when he complained about touches but at least he had a somewhat legitimate gripe. Edgerrin complaining about playing time is like Michael Jackson complaining when a boy's parents don't let him sleep over. They may want it, but it doesn't make it right.
- Conor


Indianapolis @ San Diego - Pick 'Em

Rick: Indy
Conor: San Diego

I've let my dismay for this Chargers team be known over the last few weeks. However, this is just the type of game they win to stick it to people like me. Also, I just keep having flashbacks of Peyton Manning throwing picks to Antonio Cromartie. That's when I also realize Peyton Manning has been the A-Rod of the NFL his entire career (save for one fluky AFC Championship game on his way to the Super Bowl). I'd rather watch 1,000 Peyton Manning commercials than rely on him to win a big playoff game. Why should that change now?
- Conor


Baltimore -3 @ Miami

Rick: Miami
Conor: Baltimore

Baltimore's defense is just too much for Miami. They will swallow up that Wildcat offense and I can't see Chad Pennington throwing with any kind of success. I like young Flacco to win the game. Let me also go on record here and say that I like the Ravens to go to the Superbowl. That's right...I just this team is eerily similar to the great 2ooo Ravens. It's been of those seasons. - Conor



Philadelphia -3 @ Minnesota

Rick: Philly
Conor: Minnesota

I don't think Minnesota will win the game as much as the Eagles will blow it. Philly seems like a sexy pick even though they have been one of the most bi-polar teams in the league this season. They're like the Lindsay Lohan of the NFL. Which team will we see? Lindsay Lohan, the drug addict-alcoholic whore, or Lindsay Lohan....oh wait, that's all Lindsay Lohan is. Also while we're here, what do you think is a scarier sight... Tavaris Jackson dropping back to pass or Andy Reid eating dinner the night before the game? Too many bad thoughts. - Conor

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Last Week:
Rick: 6-10
Conor: 10-6

All-Time:
Rick: 25-23
Conor: 29-19