Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Heroes State of Mind

I'm No Superman
by Rick
Scrubs is back and its not that bad. I've liked the new season on the whole so far, but unfortunately I am in a Heroes state of mind. Watching the third season and seeing all the different powers, I started to think how I would use them differently.

-Super speed I could use my super speed to open up a pizza parlor, and then deliver my pizzas by hand quicker than any other local pizza competitor.
-Flying If I could fly I would be in the NBA. I would use my power to its minimum and make it look like I was a better leaper than I really am. This would lead to thousands of physics defying dunks that would appear on Sports Center, and I would more than likely be a legendary shot blocker.
-Super Strength Obviously I would bench press a truck, maybe even a bulldozer.
-Copy Cat powers One of them in the show can copy any action they see and then do it themselves, I would use this as a bar trick. I would try to pick up chicks by doing the Crazy Legs Levi commercial. I think girls dig that. If your a girl who is a frequent on the bar scene let me know if you would dig that.
-Talking to Machines I have a great joke that would parody the lyrics to the classic song "If I Could Talk to the Animals", but in all honesty I would just probably tell my iPod to work again. The thing crapped out on me and my life is just not as musical anymore.
-Midas Touch This one is easy. Obviously I would... stop whacking it.

Hot Bitch of the Day
Natalie Dylan



Who is Natalie Dylan? She's a hot bitch who's virginity is for sale. Yes, I am as shocked as you all are, because A) this girl does not look like a virgin, and B) its already gotten to bids of $3.7 mil. Apparently this money is going to paying for her Masters degree. Story here and myspace with email address to bid, if you have an extra $4 mill lying around.

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