Apologies

All Apologies
by Rick

I apologize for the slow posting. I have not lost interest in the blog, its just i do not have regular internet accessibility at home.

On to the business of the blog...

We have stumbled across a wonderful website here at CMHB. Babe Tourneys allows you to take a field of 64 women and puts them into a march madness type competition. It is very fun and has other features like Babe Wars, which matches two women who share a commonality and allows you to vote for a favorite. Its very new, so its still a bit rough around the edges, but we love it.

Hot Bitch of the Day:

Keeley Hazel

Keeley Hazell is from England and is a fox. I wouldn't mind having tea and crumpets with her... if you catch my drift. Hopefully this picture makes up for the slow posting. Keeley Hazell is a Hot Bitch...and the Hot Bitch of the Day!

NFL Week 17 Picks

NFL Weekly Picks: Week 17

Well, I predicted it a few weeks ago but now it seems like it was destiny..and what a shame it is that the 7-8 Chargers will battle the 8-7 Broncos to win the AFC West and secure the 4 seed in the playoffs. It's a disgrace to the game of football that it comes down to this and one of these teams will get into the postseason. Especially when you consider where the Chargers were a few weeks ago during the Kansas City game in what was by far the flukiest win of the year by any team.

The rest of the week's games, however, provides us with one of the most exciting final Sundays in recent memory. I can't remember a time where so many playoff spots and playoff seeds were on the line. Not only that but all the different scenarios that need to take place for certain teams to get in. So get ready football fans! It's almost certain to be a Sunday to remember. In the mean time, here are Rick and I's picks based on the line as always.

St. Louis @ Atlanta -14.5
Rick: Atlanta
Conor: Atlanta

New England -6 @ Buffalo
Rick: New England
Conor: New England

Kansas City @ Cincinnati -3
Rick: KC
Conor: Cincinnati

Detroit @ Green Bay -10
Rick: Detroit
Conor: Green Bay

Chicago @ Houston -Pick Em'
Rick: Chicago
Conor: Houston

Tennessee @ Indianapolis -1.5
Rick: Indy
Conor: Tennessee

NY Giants @ Minnesota -6.5
Rick: Giants
Conor: Minnesota

Carolina -3 @ New Orleans
Rick: Carolina
Conor: Carolina

Cleveland @ Pittsburgh -10
Rick: Pitt
Conor: Pitt

Oakland @ Tampa Bay - 13.5
Rick: Tampa Bay
Conor: Oakland

Washington @ San Francisco -2
Rick: Washington
Conor: San Francisco

Seattle @ Arizona -4
Rick: Seattle
Conor: Seattle

Jacksonville @ Baltimore -11.5
Rick: Baltimore
Conor: Jacksonville

Miami @ NY Jets -3
Rick: Jets
Conor: Jets

Dallas @ Philadelphia -1
Rick: Philly
Conor: Philly

Denver @ San Diego -9
Rick: Denver
Conor: San Diego

---------------------------------------

Last Week:
Rick: 7-9
Conor: 8-8

All-Time:
Rick: 19-13
Conor: 19-13

Holiday Blog!

Quote of the Day:
"On a light note, do you wish your daughter would have married a better defensive coordinator?" - Detroit News columnist Rob Parker asking Detroit Lions coach Rod Marinelli about his son-in-law (who is the team's defensive coordinator).

Hot Bitch of the Day:

Mrs. Claus

Ok so maybe she isn't hot....or real for that matter, but she is the wife of Santa Claus! Not only that, she also assists in the production of Santa's toys, oversees the work of Santa's elves, takes care of the elves and the reindeer in the offseason, cooks and cleans for Santa and maintains the Claus homestead. Who do you think prepares Santa's outfit for the big night? I don't know about you but I'd say that is hot bitch material. Mrs. Claus, you are the Hot Bitch of the Day! And oh yeah, Merry Christmas.


A Not So Teixeira Christmas....and why I hate Red Sox ownership
by Conor

All I wanted for Christmas was Mark Teixeira. Really. I had been hoping for weeks that by Christmas day Teixeira would be signed, sealed, and delivered in a Red Sox uniform. So you can understand my frusturation now after I learned today that not only is 'Tex' not coming to Boston, but that he will be going to the archrival New York Yankees. Normally I can accept this scenario knowing how the Yankees love to spend money. But not this time. Not after the Yankees already dished out $243 million on C.C. Sabthia and AJ Burnett alone (yes, you read that correct. 2 players.).

Now I turn my eyes to you Mr. Henry, Mr. Warner and Mr Lucchino. How could you allow this to happen? It's bad enough that Red Sox merchanidising has reached ridiculous levels and turned a once proud and loyal fan base into one that can be described as laughable, that you charge people money for a fake membership into "Red Sox Nation" so they can have their name on a fucking card (Yeah, people actually spend money on this), you slap advertisments on any and everything you can at Fenway Park (this includes urinals in the bathrooms) which turned the legendary Green Monster into your own personal advertising billboard, and the latest stunt...introducing a new line of alternate game uniforms and hats so that you have another means of profit when the merchandise comes out. Give me a break. Where is all this money? When it became clear that the Yankees were about to challenge half a billion dollars spent on this offseason alone, how could you not step in? When do you feel you've all pocketed enough money and should start investing in the product on the field? You owed it to the fans that you suck all your money out of to make that signing and you failed.

Now the Sox are still left with some serious holes and losing out on potential help while the Yankees continue to build one of the most stacked teams on paper I have ever seen. Where will they go from here? I don't know...but when the Yankees sign Manny Ramirez to a 3 year deal later this week, I think my head might explode. Oh yeah, about Christmas. All I want for Christmas is an ownership group that isn't so greedy. Isn't that what Christmas spirit is all about?

"Mark was on every Red Sox wishlist this year"

Bad Christmas Gifts from the Worst Christmas Ever
by Conor

This has been the worst Christmas season ever for me. And it doesn't even have anything to do with Mark Teixiera. Between school finals and work, I haven't had time for anything...which explains why I just did all my Christmas shopping in 2 hours today. Like everyone else, this is my favorite time of the year because it always puts me in the best mood for a month. I usually get to enjoy Christmas decorations, Christmas movies, Christmas songs, all of that good stuff.

Notice the key word, usually. This year has been the exact opposite, what I like to call the Bizarro Christmas (like the episode from Seinfeld with the bizarro group of friends). It's been what Christmas would look like if Lil' Wayne was Christmas but if Lil' Wayne was actually talented. Nobody even attempted to put up Christmas lights until I did about a week ago and I ended up only doing about half of what we usually do. I haven't watched any Christmas shows and to make things worse I just lost my iPod about an hour ago and I have no idea where to even start looking. But enough about my problems. So it got me thinking of ways Christmas could be any worse and I came up with 5 random gift ideas for people that would completely ruin Christmas. And you thought you were going to find something happy on this blog? Not from me!

5. Mind of Menica on DVD- for anybody- I can think of 10,000 things I'd rather do than watch this show and one of those things is gauging my eyes out with a fork.

4. Baby clothes- for somebody who recently had an abortion- Pretty awkward.

3. Oklahoma City Thunder gear- for somebody from Seattle- I'm sure they would take it well after the Supersonics (now known as the Thunder) were hijacked from their city and Seattle is currently in one of the worst sports depressions in history.

2. American Flag- for Native Americans or Confederate Flag- for an African American- Let's just say I think this would open old wounds. Or in the Native American's case, wounds that were never healed.

1. Any Michael Vick memorabilia- for a PETA person- I think what went on at Michael Vick's house is like the holocaust to PETA people. And Vick is their Hitler. I don't think this would make for a very good gift.


Obviously there are worse gifts but those are the first 5 that came to my mind (also I had to keep this semi-PG rated). So I guess the point is that Christmas could be worse.
All joking aside though, I just want to say Merry Christmas to everyone. It really is the best time of the year so enjoy it. Oh, and GO CELTICS!

Holding True to Our Name lol

Holding True to Our Name
by Rick

With posting taking a back seat while Conor composed his 100 greatest singers for CMHB's 1st real list, I decided to drop this little nugget which is completely on track with our name. enjoy.

1st... If Perkins and Rondo keep playing like they have been noone will beat us. The two of them in the past were huge liabilities, now they are producing on the offensive and defensive ends. i am scared for the nba. how can you possibly guard this starting five? oh and its almost christmas, which means i will receive the greatest gift any man can recieve, Kobe getting his ass kicked. i love the holidays!

2nd... Dave Davies is completely overlooked in most musical discussions. i was playing some facebook scrabble this evening listening to the kinks, when i came upon this little gem. im not sure if this is solo or with the kinks, but either way a great song.

3rd... Hot Bitch of the Day

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the Hot Bitch of the Day. i love her for taking rosie down. Too bad her husband is on a terrible, terrible football team.

Conor's 100 Greatest Singers of All-Time

Hot Bitch of the Day:

Jennifer Aniston

After posing nude in the latest issue of GQ and making headlines after appearances on Letterman and Regis & Kelly, we just had to make Jennifer Aniston today's choice. The cover of the new GQ pictured above asks, "Is it just us or is Jennifer Aniston getting hotter?" It's definitely not just them. Jennifer Aniston, hotter than ever and Hot Bitch of the Day!

This Week's Funny Video:

Ghostface makes a 2nd consecutive apperance on the blog after Rick and I discovered this Dove Soap commercial featuring the man himself. I don't know if this commercial is even shown anywhere (maybe in the hood) but it might be the greatest sales pitch of soap ever. Speaking of greatest ever...


Rolling Stone is at it again!

That's right, Rolling Stone magazine came out with another 100 Greatest of All-Time list recently. Not that I have a problem with it, I enjoy reading these lists to see where they rank certain artists or to compare it to my own thoughts. You can see the complete list right here. This list though I had more than a few differing opinions. Bob Dylan in the top 10? Really? I love the guy, he's my 2nd favorite artist and the greatest songwriter ever....but he never had a great voice by any stretch of the imagination. But then I wonder what the criteria of this list is. Are we going strictly off how good the person's voice is or are there other factors like, say, mic presence or voice originality? I'm going to go with the latter. But anyway, I created my own list going off strictly singing ability. It looks like this:

Conor's 100 Greatest Singers of All-Time

1. Aretha Franklin - RS got this right, that girl could flat out sing.

2. Sam Cooke- When I think of singing from the soul, I look no further than him.

3. James Brown- There's a reason he is considered the 'Godfather of Soul'.

4. Marvin Gaye- Nobody had a more soothing voice.

5. Whitney Houston- I get the chills everytime I hear her voice, especially here.

6. Bobby Hatfield- Just listen to Unchained Melody to understand why he's up here.

7. Ray Charles- Sang with such emotion, often overlooked because of his music talent.

8. Otis Redding- I was blown away the first time I heard I've Been Loving You Too Long and Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay.

9. Stevie Wonder- Hit all the notes and had such an uplifting sound in his voice.

10. Frank Sinatra- The legend, his voice paved the way for modern pop music.

11. Al Green- Let's Stay Together

12. Tina Turner- What's Love Got to Do with It

13. John Lennon- Imagine, Strawberry Fields Forever
14. Janis Joplin- Down on Me, Piece of my Heart
15. Michael Jackson- I Want You Back, P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
16. Joni Mitchell- Big Yellow Taxi, The Circle Game
17. Nina Simone- Sinnerman
18. Smokey Robinson- The Tears of a Clown, Ooh Baby Baby
19. Curtis Mayfield- Move on Up, People Get Ready
20. Etta James- At Last
21. Percy Sledge- When a Man Loves a Woman
22. Little Richard- Tutti Frutti
23. David Ruffin- My Girl, Ain't Too Proud to Beg
24. Jackie Wilson- Higher and Higher
25. Elvis Presley- Suspicious Minds, Hound Dog
26. Gladys Knight- Midnight Train to Georgia, Neither One of Us
27. Paul McCartney- Blackbird, Hey Jude, Yesterday
28. Elton John- Crocodile Rock, Candle in the Wind
29. Minnie Riperton- Lovin' You
30. Joe Cocker- With a Little Help From My Friends, You are so Beautiful
31. Beverly Bivens- You Were on My Mind
32. Bob Marley- Could You Be Loved, One Love
33. Jim Morrison- Light My Fire, Five to One, LA Woman
34. Levi Stubbs - Reach Out I'll Be There, I Can't Help Myself
35. Brian Wilson- God Only Knows, Wouldn't It Be Nice
36. Grace Slick- Somebody to Love, White Rabbit
37. David Bowie- Suffragette City, Changes
38. Johnny Cash- I Walk the Line, Ring of Fire
39. Neil Young- Helpless, Southern Man
40. Nat King Cole- Unforgettable
41. Rod Stewart- Maggie May
42. Freddie Mercury- Bohemian Rhapsody, We Are the Champions
43. Dion- Runaround Sue
44. Roy Orbison- Oh, Pretty Woman
45. Mariah Carey- Always Be My Baby, Fantasy
46. Sly Stone- Family Affair, Dance to the Music
47. Martha Reeves- Nowhere to Run, Jimmy Mack
48. Eric Burdon- Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, House of the Rising Sun
49. Luther Vandross- Dance With My Father
50. Mama Cass Elliot- California Dreamin', Words of Love
51. Howlin' Wolf- Spoonful, Back Door Man
52. Jeff Buckley- Hallelujah
53. Frankie Valli- Dawn (Go Away), Let's Hang On
54. Linda Ronstadt- Different Drum
55. Paul Simon- I Am a Rock, The Sounds of Silence
56. Marilyn McCoo- Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In
57. Dean Martin- Blue Moon
58. Tony Bennett- I Left My Heart in San Francisco
59. Patti Labelle- Lady Marmalade
60. Roger Daltrey- My Generation, Baba O' Riley

61. Donnie Hathaway- A Song For You

62. Wilson Pickett- In The Midnight Hour
63. Lionel Richie- Endless Love, Easy (Like Sunday Morning)
64. Mick Jagger- Get Off of My Cloud, (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
65. Muddy Waters- Hoochie Coochie Man
66. Ronnie Spector- Be My Baby
67. Bob Dylan- Like A Rolling Stone, The Times They Are-A-Changin
68. Stephen Stills- For What It's Worth
69. John Fogerty- Proud Mary, Bad Moon Rising, Fortunate Son
70. Graham Nash- Carrie Anne
71. Chris Cornell- Black Hole Sun
72. Lou Reed- Walk on the Wild Side
73. Van Morrison- Brown Eyed Girl, Moondance
74. Thom Yorke- Karma Police, Creep
75. Sting- Every Breath You Take, Roxanne
76. James Taylor- You've Got a Friend, Fire and Rain
77. Neil Diamond- Sweet Caroline
78. Dolly Parton- 9 to 5
79. Steven Tyler- I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, Dream On, Crazy
80. Diana Ross- Where Did Our Love Go, You Can't Hurry Love
81. Scott Weiland- Interstate Love Song, Creep
82. Buddy Holly- That'll Be the Day
83. George Harrison- Here Comes the Sun, While My Guitar Gently Weeps
84. Christina Aguilera- I Turn to You
85. Levon Helm (of The Band)- Tears of Rage, The Weight
86. Don Henley- Hotel California
87. Alanis Morrissette- You Oughta Know, Ironic
88. Mary J. Blige- Real Love
89. Karen Carpenter- We've Only Just Begun
90. Cher- I Got You Babe
91. Gary Puckett- Lady Willpower, Woman Woman
92. Mary Wells- My Guy
93. Jack Bruce- I Feel Free, Sunshine of Your Love
94. Louis Armstrong- What a Wonderful World
95. Kurt Cobain- On a Plain, Lithium
96. Carole King- Will You Love Me Tomorrow
97. Eric Clapton- Wonderful Tonight, Tears in Heaven
98. Justin Hayward- Nights in White Satin
99. Michael Stipe- Losing My Religion, Man on the Moon
100. Tom Waits-


This was one of the hardest lists I ever made but I believe I got everybody that I wanted in there. Those are the real 100 greatest singers of all-time.

It's that time again, Week 16 NFL picks!

Hot Bitch of the Day:

Taylor Swift

I'm not to familiar with her music, but Taylor Swift has topped the Billboard 200 once again for the 2nd straight week. If she's keeping losers like Kanye and Lil' Wayne out of the top spot, she's a winner in my book! And as you can see, she's hot too. It all adds up to one thing. Taylor Swift, Hot Bitch of the Day!

Album of the Week:

Ghostface Killah - Gho$tDeini the Great

Ghostface released a greatest hits album of sorts this week featuring tracks from his 3 albums under Def Jam, including 2 new songs. What makes this the album of the week? One of the 2 new tracks is titled "Ghostface Christmas". I couldn't find a link to the song, but I do have this to give you an idea.



NFL Weekly Picks: Week 16

It's that time again for Rick and I to make our Weekly NFL picks. As always our picks are based on the point spread of each game. Unfortunately, Stan will not be making picks this week. Here are the results from last week's picks:

Rick: 12-4
Conor: 11-5
Stan: 6-10

We will probably get Stan's picks sometime tomorrow and post his results next week. But for now the blog must go on! Here are the Week 16 picks.....


Indianapolis -6.5 @ Jacksonville

Rick: Indy
Conor: Jacksonville

Apparently Jacksonville hasn't packed it in, despite Fred Taylor's comments last week. Indy failed to cover against Detroit...and they really don't beat anybody by more than 6. They were one Sage Rosenfels Apocalypse away from a lost season. Why should I trust them here with nothing to play for? - Conor

Baltimore @ Dallas -4.5

Rick: Dallas
Conor: Dallas

Flacco on the Road. It sounds like an Old Western movie. Unfortunately this is football. Sorry young Joe Flacco, I can't take you here. - Conor

Pittsburgh @ Tennessee -1.5

Rick: Pitt
Conor: Tenn

There's word that Tennessee is conceding home field advantage in order to get healthy for the playoffs. Who says Pittsburgh won't do the same thing? I still like Tenn at home.

Miami -5 @ Kansas City

Rick: Miami
Conor: KC

At this point it seems that Herm Edwards is openly trying to lose his job. Only it's everybody else around him getting the boot. How he's still there I'll never know. With that said, KC has been formidable at home. I like them to just cover here. - Conor


Arizona @ New England -9

Rick: New England
Conor: New England

Kind of a shady line if you ask me. New England really isn't that good. The Cardinals are locked in at the 4 seed though and really have nothing to play for. They could mail it in. - Conor

Cincinnatti @ Cleveland -3

Rick: Cincinnatti
Conor: Cincinnatti

Fitzpatrick vs. Dorsey. That sounds like a litigation case or an epic chess match. And then when you realize those are the names of two starting quarterbacks on Sunday.... Ladies and Gentlemen, you have your worst game of the week. - Conor


Philadelphia -4 @ Washington

Rick: Philadelphia
Conor: Philadelphia

It's still unclear whether Andy Reid is coaching or trying to figure out what he's going to eat for dinner that night. Is that a clipboard he's holding or a takeout menu? Whatever it is, it's working. - Conor


San Francisco -5.5 @ St. Louis

Rick: San Francisco
Conor: San Francisco

San Francisco has randomly been playing smash mouth ball lately. They can really give and take a pounding. Yes, I mean the football team. (That's the last time. I love San Francisco, really.) - Conor


Atlanta @ Minnesota -3

Rick: Atlanta
Conor: Minnesota

You know you have a suspect quarterback situation when the QB controversy is trying to figure out who will do the least amount of damage when blowing your season. Tavaris Jackson threw for 4 TDs and nobody even cared. I still really like Adrian Peterson here though. - Conor


New Orleans -6.5 @ Detroit

Rick: New Orleans
Conor: New Orleans

This seems like another game Detroit could cover. That is until the 1st quarter happens and they're down 21-0. Sorry Detroit, you're not winning this one either. - Conor


Carolina @ NY Giants -3

Rick: Giants
Conor: Carolina

I still think the Giants were exposed against Philly and Carolina sure would love to grab home field in the NFC (8-0 at home). - Conor


NY Jets -5 @ Seattle

Rick: Seattle
Conor: Seattle

What a garbage win last week after JP Losman served the game winning TD on a silver platter. I really think this could be it for the Jets. This is one of those classic games they blow. - Conor


Houston -7 @ Oakland

Rick: Houston
Conor: Houston

Has there ever been one play that completely changed the direction of a season for two teams? The Colts were pretty much left for dead until Sage Rosenfels came to the rescue. The Texans are a good team, it's a shame what happened to their season. - Conor


Buffalo @ Denver -5.5

Rick: Denver
Conor: Buffalo

I don't even know what to say about either of these teams. Denver seems totally capable of choking their season away these last two weeks. Fortunately for them, Norv Turner is their only real threat. - Conor


San Diego @ Tampa Bay -3.5

Rick: Tampa Bay
Conor: San Diego

Oh, how the mighty have fallen as we watched Phillips Rivers dance around after beating the lowly Chiefs by 1 last Sunday. This San Diego team needs to go away right now. - Conor


Green Bay @ Chicago -4

Rick: Chicago
Conor: Chicago

Green Bay won the title for most underachieving team this season with their loss at Jacksonville last week. How much longer till we start the Monday Night Football curse? Is it me or has there only been like 2 legitimate matchups worth watching on Monday Night this year? I don't think it's me. Be smart and take Chicago. - Conor

I Have a Dream...and it's not Final Exams!

Hot Bitch of the Day:

Shandi Finnessey

You might know Shandi Finnessey as the female co-host on the game show Lingo. But before that she was Miss USA 2004 and runner-up for Miss Universe that same year. I was watching Lingo earlier and she looked particularly incredible today. I knew what I had to do. Shandi, you are the Hot Bitch of the Day! Add that to your resume.

Bizarre Story of the Week:

Three female KFC workers were fired on Sunday after they apparently took a bath in the KFC sink. If that isn't weird enough, they actually took pictures of themselves in the bath (wearing bikinis thank god) and then posted them on Myspace...further proving why Myspace is corrupting young girls. Beware if you click the link to read the story as you will quickly understand why these girls work at KFC. I mean it, this is your warning.

Relax...Finals Could Be Worse!
by Rick

Its finals time, and that means college kids around the country are worrying about failing final exams. They are worrying about failing classes. They are even worrying about the possible ramifications this semester will have on their cumulative GPA. So as a public service to all these students caught up in a mountain of academic worries, I've composed a short list of things scarier than failure.

-Starbucks Double Shots Sure it seems like fun to have Survivor or a bleacher full of college sports fans following you around adding your name into popular songs, but in reality it would be very scary having either of these two things come true. It would get old listening to "Rick's the man, watching Step Brothers, creepily staring at Mary Steenburgen". Or imagine the eight hour of your shift in the dining hall, its 11 pm, and some little cunt tells you she wants a pancake from the grill cause the ones you put out dont look cooked enough. You're pissed off, tired, and annoyed enough already, but guess what... you drank a Starbucks Double Shot on your break and now a bleacher full of college sports fans are chanting your name to the tune of "Rock and Roll Part 2" by Gary Glitter, a fate I wish only upon only a few of my worst enemies.

-Zombie Puppies Whats cuter than a little puppy? Not to much, thats for damn sure. Whenever someone sees a puppy they just want to hold it. Its just human nature. But what if that adorable puppy isnt just a puppy, but also...undead. You pick up the puppy in accordance to human nature, the puppy bites you, you turn into a zombie, you bite someone else, the puppy is still out looking for fresh blood, bites another person(or even another puppy!)... as you see the only end result to this spiral of events is a zombie apocalypse.

-People with Rat Tails These people are complete wild cards. Whenever I see one coming I walk the other way. People with rat tails can be as timid as a lamb, or as destructive as a billy goat. The problem is which one will you get?

"While visions of Zombie Puppies dance in their heads"

I Have, err....HAD a Dream!
by Conor

So I've had the Celtics on my mind a lot lately. Not that this is anything new...but after the last two wins against the Hornets and the Jazz, the Celtics have improved to 23-2 including a 15 game win streak. Watching James Posey get his ring was also nice to see and the best part was that I didn't have to see him Man-Hug his new teammates. I compared Posey to an ex-girlfriend that I'm not totally over yet. Watching him play for another team is like watching your Ex out with another guy. You can imagine what watching him hug other players would be like. So you can see why the Celtics showed up in my dreams the other night.

Anyway, I had a weird dream the other night that I was on the Boston Celtics. Not just me, but all of my teammates from my senior year High School team. It was like we combined West High School 2006 with the 2008 Boston Celtics. But on this team I was a nobody, just like the rest of my high school teammates and we rode the bench for the Boston Celtics. We had to sit behind the bench, some of us wouldn't even suit up. And the worst part is that nobody on the Celtics would talk to us. Nobody except, of course, Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo. It was like every other player on the team was too good for us or above us....but Ray and Rondo weren't. They treated us like equals, they talked to us like we were part of the team. And the funny thing is that this all seemed so realistic. It's exactly what would happen if this was a real scenario. It's why a young Rajon Rondo was infatuated with Ray Allen and the way he carried himself the minute he arrived in Boston. The reason Rondo started to copy everything that Allen did on and off the court. There are few good guys in sports these days and Ray Allen is one of them. As much as I love KG and Paul Pierce, in my dream they were assholes....and unfortunately I feel like they would be in real life as well. But you can't blame them, it's just the culture of sports these days. A culture where wealth, fame and success is thrust upon it's individuals. Some who just don't know how to handle it.

I had a dream...but now I have a dream. I have a dream that one day we will have more Ray Allen's in sports. I have a dream that one day we will have more Rajon Rondo's who come into the league looking for role models, not looking to only make a name for themselves. I have a dream that the Pacman Jones', the Plaxico Burress', the Stephon Marbury's will not be tolerated because of their character and not just because of their skill. I have a dream today! Ok so I'm not Dr. Martin Luther King, but I am a dreamer. In all seriousness though, I'm concerned with what's happening in sports. Especially with what's going to happen in 2010 when somebody shelves out an enormous amount of money for Lebron James. The financial landscape in sports will change again and it's not going to be pretty. An occupation that is already tainted with greed looks like it will only get worse. So be thankful for the Ray Allen's that we have in sports today, they're hard to come by these days.

"Ray is the kind of guy you would like even if he wasn't famous"

- Conor

Barkley '16 and the Power of the Dollar

Quote of the Day:

"That was a size 10 shoe he threw at me, you may want to know. " - President Bush after Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zaiydi threw both of his shoes at him during a joint press conference on Sunday. Look at those cat-like relflexes!!!

As if the throwing of the shoes wasn't funny enough, listen to when Bush is talking after it happens. The absolute highest of comedy.



Hot Bitch of the Day:

Jessica Szohr

Meet Jessica Szohr, who plays the character Vanessa Abrams on the show Gossip Girl. I'm not too familiar with the show or what it's about, but she was on Conan O'Brien the other night and it sounds like a popular show. Not to mention she was really hot. That's what I like to see. Jessica Szohr, I can't pronounce your name, but you're the Hot Bitch of the Day!


Artist of the Week:
This is where we share what artist we have been on a kick for lately.

This week it was a mutual choice for Rick and I, and it's Aesop Rock. Aesop Rock has single handedly saved Hip-Hop for me and almost by accident. I put Music for Earthworms on in the car the other day and haven't stopped listening since. Support Real Hip-Hop. Favorite tracks: "Merit", "Coward of the Year", "Daylight".



Barkley Shut Up and Jam!


Charles Barkley made headlines today after criticizing the hire of Auburn University's head football coach by playing the race card. This shouldn't surprise anybody as Charles Barkley has never been one to shy away from controversy. This is the man who wrote a book titled Who's Afraid of a Large Black Man. A man who has openly admitted to gambling away 2.5 million dollars "in a six hour period". A man who has pretty much entered a zone where he can say anything he wants on TV and can get away with it. There are very few people who have entered this zone but Barkley is there. Charles Barkley is responsible for roughly 28% of all unintentional comedy in this country. It might be a good idea to dedicate a full day's blog to strictly Charles Barkley quotes. Actually, it's going to happen.

The best part of all, however, is that Barkley will be running for Governor of Alabama in 2014. He wants to validate is candidacy stating:
"I'm serious. I've got to get people to realize that the government is full of it. Republicans and Democrats want to argue over stuff that's not important, like gay marriage or the war in Iraq or illegal immigration...when I run we're going to talk about real issues like improving our schools, cleaning up our neighborhoods of drugs and crime and making Alabama a better place for all people".

I'm willing to go even further, Charles Barkley should not be running for Governor of Alabama...Charles Barkley should be running for President in 2016. Who wouldn't vote for Barkley? The guy is lovable yet blunt, he's honest and he'll tell you how it is no matter what the circumstance is. His head is obviously in the right place and he actually thinks the War in Iraq is a non issue (sarcasm). Really though...what world leader is going to stand up to a Large Black Man? Charles Barkley could handle homeland security by himself.

So that's it I'm starting the campaign early. I'm going to start a petition so we can show our support and make this a reality. Barkley '16 - Yes, we can!!


In other news, Barkley Shut Up and Jam! was a very underrated video game from 1995.




The Mystery of the Dollar Menu

So I was sitting at a Burger King drive-thru today gazing at the big menu when I was hit with a sudden wave of curiosity. Then the question was clear, Who is responsible for the fast food dollar menu? It seems nowadays that any fast food joint you go to has one, but who was the first? Who is the modern day Washington of fast food dollar menus? It's a pressing question but I feel that this is an important thing to know because not only has the dollar menu given us great value for our fast food, but it has also satisfied the needs and hunger of every drunk or stoned teenager and young adult across the US. I wonder if it's a bad thing and that's why nobody has claimed to be the first. Maybe it's like when guys go shopping for a girlfriend. Nobody wants to do it but we still do it because it's effective. Do you think the first man who shopped for a female went around bragging about it? Hell no. I'm not sure if there is any way to ever find the answer...but I will say, their creation should not go uncredited.

"Nothing says a dollar like a McChicken sandwich...or even a small salad!"

- Conor

Get to gnome our guest blogger, Dave

Okay, so Hi, I’m Dave. A lot of people confuse me with David the gnome. But I’m not a gnome, I’m a person. I will be offering my thoughts intermittently as a guest on this blog.

I’ve been very conflicted as of late. I feel like the mother who knows her daughter is just plain ugly as shit and doesn’t know if its time for the girl to come to terms with it or let her enjoy the bliss of ignorance. So to get me through it I’ve thought of some situations I would not want to be in.

1 – Challenged to an arm wrestling match by a parapalegic and we’re not talking from the waist down. I’m either going to look like a total dueche, be jokingly made fun of for losing, or even worse have lost an arm wrestling match to someone that can’t move their arms. Don’t attack me for this one I’m thinking of it in a sympathetic way for both me and my opponent. I want to let him/her win I really do. But what if that offends them?

2 – I suppose being walked in on by a nun would be pretty awkward. I don’t foresee how this situation could ever take place, but I guess it would give a new meaning to resurrection.

3 – Being given two options and I have to choose one. Option 1, I have to kill a snake but before I go to bed each night I have to look at a picture of Sarah Jessica Parker for ten minutes. Option 2, I have to kill the Easter Bunny with my bare hands while dancing the tango but I will receive not only a lifetime supply Cadbury Crème Eggs but Jessica Rabbit will also become my maid. How could I kill the Easter Bunny and deprive children of certain religious affiliations world wide a day of candy and egg painting? Also, I think the crème eggs would get old after about 27 days, and I doubt Jessica Rabbit would be a useful maid. Honestly though, I find something about Sarah Jessica Parker to be so annoying that after a week of looking at her for ten minutes a night my blood pressure would probably rise so high that my head would pop off or my dick would stop working. Not a good scenario either way.

-Dave

Goonies Never Say Die!, but sometimes they should...

Hot Bitch of the Day:

Nicole Scherzinger

Nicole Scherzinger I guess is in some singing group called the Pussycat Dolls. I saw her in the Nike After Six commercial with Lebron, which is absolutely hilarious. Needless to say, this bitch is hot. Nicole Scherzinger, Hot Bitch of the Day!



What I want for Christmas:


This time of year is a time of giving, as well as recieving. I have listed top five presents I'd like to recieve this year. If only they could all come true...



5) The Roots to reconsider signing up to be Jimmy Fallon's house band. As funny and cool as it would be to see ?uestlove on TV regularly, I think this amazing band should continue touring and not put their great name on this piece of garbage. Jimmy isnt funny, and neither will this trash show.

4) Lil Wayne to disappear. Nothing funny to say here i just want him gone.

3) JJ Reddick in a Celtic's uniform. I understand we have no need for him, but it would be great to see my favorite player playing on my favorite team. As a side I'd also like to see Patrick O'Bryant get more playing time. Fuck Scal.

2) Alan Alda to reprise his role as Hawkeye Pierce as a guest spot on Scrubs. I think an interesting plot could be made for this, and i think JD could learn alot from Cpt. Pierce.

1) The guy making the Goonies sequel to die of a heart attack. Please. There is no reason for this. One Goonies was perfect. They found One Eyed Willy's treasure and we assume that Chunk and Sloth remained friends. A sequel where they and their kids go on an adventure together is just fucking unnecessary. Just take your script you wrote, rename it "The Adventures of Former Child Stars and Thier Kids" and dont associate The Goonies with it at all.

- Rick

Week 15 picks

Quote of the Day:
"I think I could have handled things better." - Tom Cruise in reference to the Oprah Winfrey couch incident from 3 years ago.


Hot Bitch of the Day:

Zooey DeschanelShe has a new movie coming out with Jim Carey, Yes Man. She also has an album out with her band She & Him that has been highly reviewed. Plus look at her...so cute, so mysterious. Zooey Deschanel, our Hot Bitch of the Day!

NFL Weekly Picks: Week 15

This a new segment we are going to start for the last 3 weeks of the season. We'll probably make our picks around every Thursday. These are our picks for this weeks games based on the spread, not who we think will win. These were done at 2 a.m. between Me, Conor and our friend, Stan. What party animals we are. Stan got drunk and fell asleep watching Labryinth starring David Bowie. That's why he didn't pick the last two games. He fell asleep with dreams of The Goblin King racing through his head. Well here they are... Week 15 picks.

"Cleveland and Philly doesn't sound like a battle of heavyweights, but it is"

New Orleans @ Chicago -3

Rick: New Orleans
Conor: Chicago
Stan: New Orleans

I had a Kim Kardashian joke ready here but my good conscious deemed it inappropriate. Just know that New Orleans only road win this season came at Kansas City. - Conor

Green Bay-2 @ Jacksonville
Rick: Jacksonville
Conor: Green Bay
Stan: Green Bay

The two most dissapointing teams of the season. Fred Taylor apparently checked out sometime 6 weeks ago and claimed this is the worst team he's been on. That's good enough for me. Give me Green Bay for less than a score. - Conor

Detroit @ Indianapolis-17
Rick: Indy
Conor: Detroit
Stan: Detroit

The only game Detriot will win this year is Green Bay, just to add insult to those fucking cheesehead injuries. I hate Green Bay. - Rick

Washington -7 @ Cincinnati
Rick: Cincy
Conor: Cincy
Stan: Washington

Washington has seemingly given up and now have a star RB/Head Coach feud. Not a great formula for success. Remember when Washington was in the talk for best team in the league this season? Neither do I. I'm looking for Cincy to atleast cover. - Conor

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta -3
Rick: Atlanta
Conor: Atlanta
Stan: Atlanta

This has all the makings of a dogfight....and Atlanta does have a great track record in dogfighting.- Conor

San Francisco @ Miami -6.5
Rick: San Francisco
Conor: Miami
Stan: Miami

What a weird season for San Francisco. And to think it was inspired by the Head Coach, Mike Singletary, dropping his pants in the locker room during a game. Clearly these players play for the right city. Was that in bad taste? - Conor

Seattle-3 @ St. Louis
Rick: Seattle
Conor: Seattle
Stan: Seattle

All I have to say is I feel bad for whoever has this game broadcast to their television sets. Deion Branch, ladies and gentlemen, decided to make an apperance this season. And with a monster game against his former team who basically told him to get out of town. Who could have predicted that? Oh yeah, me. - Conor


Buffalo @ NY Jets-7.5
Rick: Buffalo
Conor: Jets
Stan: Jets

The only thing nicer to see than the collapse of the Packers is the collapse of Brett Favre. I hate this douchebag. - Rick

Who's starting at QB for Buffalo? Does it even matter after back to back 3 point weeks? Canada doesn't even want them anymore. - Conor

Tennessee-3 @ Houston
Rick: Tenn
Conor: Tenn
Stan: Tenn

I really like Houston to upset this week after no longer having the threat of a Sage Rosenfels apocalypse. It's just too risky to go against the Titans. - Conor

Pittsburgh @ Baltimore -2
Rick: Pittsburgh
Conor: Baltimore
Stan: Pittsburgh

This has the potential to be the game of the season. Enough said. - Conor

Denver @ Carolina -7.5
Rick: Carolina
Conor: Carolina
Stan: Denver

Denver might be the worst 8-5 team I've ever seen. They've been outscored this season 316-336. Can we just wipe out the AFC West and let another AFC East team into the playoffs? It's a shame. I'm secretly rooting for Denver to lose out the rest of their games and San Diego to win out so we can see a 7-8 team and an 8-7 team battle it out on the last week for the playoffs. Ok, I'm openly rooting. Let's go Carolina! - Conor

San Diego-5 @ Kansas City
Rick: KC
Conor: KC
Stan: San Diego

I'd like to think San Diego may be good again. But then you remember that Norv Turner is their coach. Kansas City has been semi-competitive in these types of games...but they are coach by Herm Edwards. Ahhh decisions, decisions. -Conor

Minnesota @ Arizona -3
Rick: Minnesota
Conor: Minnesota
Stan: Arizona

Tavaris Jackson on the road. Ouch! With that said, I like Adrian Peterson to run all over this Cardinals defense and Minnesota has just a little more to play for. - Conor

New England-7 @ Oakland
Rick: Oakland
Conor: New England
Stan: New England

I do not trust New England at all here after struggling with Seattle. Oakland has been the biggest enigma this season, 3-10 and looking pitiful at times but with 3 dominant, convincing wins thrown in. Which Raider team will my Pats see this week? I'll go with the odds. - Conor

NY Giants @ Dallas -3
Rick: Dallas
Conor: Dallas

Stan: ZZZZzzzzz (That's Stan sleeping)

I hate both of these teams. However, I think Dallas showed us a little something after controlling the Pittsburgh game for 3 and a half quarters. And I think the Giants were exposed by Philly. This is a team that is a little more distracted than we think and has serious flaws. - Conor

Cleveland @ Philadelphia -14
Rick: Cleveland
Conor: Philly
Stan: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzVin DieselzzzzzZZZZZzzz

According to Rick, Stan may or may not have said "Vin Diesel" in his sleep. Which is only fitting because this is the funnest game of the week. Not because it's a good matchup, because clearly it isn't, but because I get to see how many fat jokes I can crack everytime they show either Andy Reid or Romeo Crennel....or a drinking game where you have to drink everytime they show a fat guy with a clipboard. This will be fun. - Conor


Game of the Week: Pittsburgh @ Baltimore

Game of the Week Strictly for Comedic Purposes: Cleveland @ Philadelphia


- Conor and Rick

Big 3's and Un-talentees

Quote of the Day:
"When I turned the ball over, I'm so used to coming out of the game" - Rashad McCants of the Minnesota Timberwolves accepts that he's bad.


Hot Bitch of the Day:

Kate Hudson

Good news for all single guys out there. Kate Hudson recently claimed she is on the market and "open to all relationships". Just leave your ego at the door she says (and maybe get her phone number first), and she could be all yours. What does this all mean? Kate Hudson, you are the Hot Bitch of the Day!



The best things in life are 3

There have been many great trios in this thing we called life. The Chipmunks; The 3 Stooges; The Three Amigos; The Baldwin brothers if you don't count Stephen; Pamela, Tommy, and the video camera; 2 girls, 1 cup (wait, did I say great?). Anyway, today I was randomly thinking about this and wondered what the greatest trio of all-time is? The term "Big 3" is thrown around a lot...I think it's about time we labeled something as the one and only "Big 3". There can't be like a hundred different Big 3's. Let's just name one and END IT. I think the best way to do this, and quite frankly something that should be done, would be to have like a March Madness field of 65 tournament seeding all of the great trios.
The thought of trying to decide if FDR, Stalin, and Churchill should get a 1 seed boggles my mind. Could we rank the 3 Little Pigs any higher than a 3 seed? Where would I rank my beloved Celtics of Bird, McHale, Parrish (The original Big 3) or Pierce, Garnett, and Allen (the only modern day Big 3 in sports, contrary to popular belief). These are the things we need to figure out.

"The original Charlie's Angels always did make a fantastic trio"

The fact is I intend to undertake this. So if you're scared, if you haven't got the stomach for this let's get it out right now...and I'll do it on my own. If not, you can get on board and we can get to work. So what's it gonna be? I know we can do it. Yes, we can!

Kanye West is NOT talented

Yup, you heard me correct. I'm sick of people praising his new album, 808s & Heartbreak, because it's supposed to be some sort of breakthrough in music. Kanye can't sing, he uses an Auto-Tune! It's exactly how it sounds...it tunes your voice to make it sound good. My friend, Dave, is the worst singer in the world, a blatant understatement, but you could actually make him sound good with this program. If I want to hear somebody sing, I'll listen to the many capable and great natural voices out there. Not somebody like T-Pain who has made a career off of this thing even though he has no talent, somebody who should not be any more famous than you or me. Go ahead and call me a hater... I'm still waiting for Kanye to write a cunning rap lyric or to make a beat without sampling other artists. Until then I stand by my words, Kanye West is not talented (not to mention the most arrogant piece of shit on this earth).

"Maybe if I wear these ridiculous glasses, people won't notice that I can't rap or sing!"

- Conor

Arnolds, and Dragons, and Kevin McHales. Oh My!

Quote of the Day:
"Is it safe to say that he 'Went to Jarrett?'" - Tony Kornheiser on Monday Night Football in reference to the "He went to Jared" jewelery commercials after Jake Delhomme completed a pass to Dwayne Jarrett.


Hot Bitch of the Day:

Anne Hathaway

Not only is she smoking hot, but now she has that broken, depressed girl factor after her boyfriend of 4 years was found to be a fraud, con artist, cheating people out of millions of dollars and now facing years in prison. That's good enough for me. Anne Hathaway, you are the hot bitch of the day!



Jingle All the Way!?!?

"I think this is what Arnold looks like after he watches his acting."

Today I had way too much time on my hands and ended up watching the most ridiculous, outlandish movie I have ever seen. That movie is Jingle All the Way...courtesy of ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas. The only thing you need to know is that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad star in it! Seeing Sinbad and Arnold interact is like watching the autistic kid talk in front of the classroom. It's painful to watch and really uncomfortable for everyone involved. The first scene I watched involved Arnold Schwarzenegger's character single handedly taking on hundreds of elves and Santas at a toy factory. Not only that, but the giant Santa Claus was played by The Big Show from the WWF! (or WWE, whatever it's called now). The cast in this movie is somewhere between a 15 and Tim Allen on the unintentional comedy scale. So all in all, it was well worth the watch simply for the laughs, even if most of the laughs came at the expense of parts that weren't supposed to be funny.

Kevin McHale takes over

In sports, the Minnesota Timberwolves fired coach Randy Wittman after a 4-15 start to the season. The new coach? Celtics Hall of Famer, Kevin McHale! He stepped down as VP of Basketball Operations to coach the mess he made. I wish McHale all the luck i the world and hope he can succeed in turning that team around.

"Good god, who put this team together!? Oh yeah, me."

- Conor

Thinking about Dragons....

For about 4 hours today i sat and wondered if dragons would be able to live in weather conditions like today, a frigid 8 degrees. its no argument that these beasts must be cold blooded creatures. i orginally thought they would be like most Bradymetabolic animals and shut down to a near death state in these cold tempetures, giving the incredibly lucky knight a prime window to kill the beast while it cant defend itself. i now think that dragons might be gigantotheric, and be able to keep a higher body temperature and metabolism longer due to the creature's sheer size and surface area. this would mean the dragon would be able to fend off an approaching knight. also i would like to hypothosize that the internal system that gives the dragon the ability to breathe fire would most likely provide some heat to the dragon's core tempature, and help keep it from shutting down like other cold blooded creatures might in the extreme cold.

and this is why I dont tell my mother what i learned in school...













- Rick